As a coach, I recognise that each individual experiences grief differently, I aim to normalise your grief experience and work with you to understand it and explore it while supporting you as you adjust, transition and eventually move forward in a meaningful way. Society likes us to privatise our grief which can stifle the normal grieving process, by adding additional layers of doubt and confusion as we are disconnected from what normal, healthy grief entails. There is misinformation everywhere that tells us what our grief should look like, how long we need to be there and what ‘stages’ we must go through to demonstrate that we're doing it right.
If you move through your grief too quickly it arouses suspicion, you are not seen as a healthy, resilient individual who is processing her grief in a healthy way, and you are considered to be repressing it which is often not the case. Similarly if our grief lingers, as it often does, we are considered to be coping badly which again is often not the case, we are simply not given the space to mourn on our own timescale and in our own way. We struggle to find people with the capacity to hold our grief and help us explore it or just be with it.
We’re lead to believe that our grief is finite and will come to an end after we pass through the linear process and that if you are grieving correctly you need to show your emotions by crying, which is not true for everyone- there are many ways to grieve, not all of which involve the outward display of deep emotions, or the internal experiencing of them either.
I create a safe, non-judgemental space for you to share your experiences with grief. I will ask you thought-provoking questions, provide tools and resources and guide you through exercises that encourage you to examine and process your thoughts, emotions and behaviours. I will allow you to grieve at your own pace, knowing that we do not get over the great losses in our lives but rather we reconcile our grief. I will support you as you adjust and transition through the various tasks of grief from avoiding the reality of the situation to confronting it and eventually integrating the loss and moving forward towards a new normal.
No-one died, could I be grieving?
Grief is a normal, multifaceted response to loss, when we think of grief we usually think of the death of a loved one because it is a socially acceptable cause but grief is a response to loss not only to death.
There are many more things that cause us to grieve such as;
The loss of a baby through miscarriage or stillbirth, which is a very traumatic event in a woman's life particularly because society does not give us the space to grieve these significant losses it invalidates the loss, our feelings and the pain and suffering that we might be experiencing.
Divorce, separation or the ending of a relationship is another time in our lives when we experience grief, even if you have made that choice for yourself, there is still a loss involved.
The loss of a job or children leaving home.
Ageing, illness or a cancer diagnosis when our bodies no longer work the way were are used to, the wear and tear on our body that means changes in its functioning.
The loss of a pet - for many their pet is not just an animal but a cherished member of the family, for some the relationship with their pet is the only time they have experienced real unconditional love in their lives.
Loss through Alzheimer's, dementia or mental illness which results in the loss of the person we used to know, their physical body is still there but their minds and personalities have changed and the person we loved is no longer who they once were.
These are just some of the things that can cause us to grieve, the list is not exhaustive and there are many losses that lead to grief, as your coach I will provided a space for to talk about your loss, a place for you to empty your heart and tools to explore your grief on a deeper level so that you can integrate the loss and re-define your life after the loss and learn to thrive. Supporting you is always my number one priority occasionally working with a grief therapist rather than a coach may be what you need to help you better adapt to the loss. Complicated grief reactions require deeper work to access feelings that are being avoided or when grief is affecting normal life functioning over an extended time, if this is the case I will guide you to connect to other types of support like grief therapy if it would of greater benefit to you at this time.
Do you want to discover more?
Would you like to find out more about grief coaching or whether you personally would benefit from working with me? Schedule a free 30 minute discovery call, the perfect opportunity for you to discuss the particular challenges grief has brought to your life and clarify any doubts you might have about the coaching process and how it can support you on your grief journey. It is also an opportunity to determine if we are a good fit for each other, an often over-looked but vital part of forming a successful professional partnership.